Hi I’m Gordon a Life Coach in Glasgow.
For the video below I’ve taken inspiration from world famous life coach Tony Robbins. I’ve broken down six core human needs that he recognises. I see these as being fundamental to having a great, fulfilling and ultimately happy life.
We all have these six needs. Getting them right is a recipe for happiness. When they are out of balance or you are focusing too heavily on just one, then they impact negatively on your happiness and general wellbeing. Understanding them helps you to make better life choices. Ultimately living a happier life.
As a life coach in Glasgow this is one of my favourite initial tools to help my own clients. Understanding the six needs delivers clarity on the priorities in life. This helps my clients move from pain to pleasure! If you’d like to experience this first hand, request a free exploratory session here.
If you prefer to read, rather than watch, what I say in the video there is an edited transcript below.
This video is all about Tony Robbins’ take on six human needs. Needs that we all have and if we aren’t paying attention to them or aren’t meeting them then they are going to impact negatively on our happiness.
When I’m working with clients, I find it really useful that we have this kind of framework and my clients find it really useful too. They will know which areas they need to work on.
Lets get into it. The first two areas that Tony talks about are certainty and uncertainty. Robbins sometimes refers to uncertainty as “variety”.
Certainty & Uncertainty
Everybody has a propensity towards either certainty or uncertainty. For me I like lots of certainty, I like routine, I like the same things, I like going to the same places.
I also have a need, as we all do for for uncertainty. For me, the levels of uncertainly I like might be going somewhere new for dinner. That brings something new, something novel, some variety, my brain lights up with that. Another example might be holidays, I don’t like going to the same place again and again and again. I like uncertainty – I like variety. I like to see new new places I like to travel and see new things. As a life coach in Glasgow I like to see new clients. This gives me variety in my work but it also meets my need for certainty as I’m really confident I can help make a difference.
Feeling Secure & Certainty
We all have needs to be certain to a particular degree; and to be uncertain and have variety as well.
What you need to be thinking about in your life is have you got the certainty that you require? Perhaps it’s: Have you got a roof over your head? Do you feel settled where you are, have you got certainty in your work. Anything at all that’s causing you problems in certainty, if certainty is really important to you will cause a lot of problems with you achieving a lot of anything else extra.
As a life coach in Glasgow I run one-off sessions that coach you through a personal strategy to tackle getting these six core needs.
Ticking Off Uncertainty
This is because your brain is going to keep getting reminded that you are uncertain. It’s not going to like it. So we have to tick our need for certainty if we’re going to move through the levels of human need and getting what we want.
Equally so but perhaps a little less important for many is ticking off our uncertainty. But we definitely need our certainty needs met.
Love & Connection
Once we have certainty and uncertainty sorted out; Tony Robbins talks about love or connection versus significance.
For some people it is far more important that they have got love and connection in their life than being significant. Others people it’s more about being significant.
My view on this is that normally what happens is that if we can’t get the love and connection that we so badly need. And humans and mammals actually really need this love and connection. If we can’t get it for a particular reason then on a similar level, to fill the hole of not getting the love then we go after significance.
The difficulty is that if we go after significance is that we are always chasing it. As soon as we have achieved one level and we’ve ticked it, it goes because we’ve done it. So we need to then achieve something else, do, feel and be significant.
Feeling significant is important. If significance is the primary thing that we are chasing we’ll spend a life times chasing it. I’m not saying don’t want to achieve something. Spending a life chasing something so that we can be happy seems really hard.
Love and connection is the one we need the most. In today’s society it’s the one that we struggle to get because we’ve not time to do it properly.
For a lot of us we’re scared of being hurt. This actually means being in a relationship where there is a real deep love can be hard. If we’ve been hurt in the past and don’t want to get hurt again. So we pull back from that and we don’t give of ourselves fully.
Love Helps You Cope
But of these four so far – certainty, uncertainty, love and significance – then I’m sure of love and connection. If we have this, if we have love in our life and can rely on it, we can cope with uncertainty in work, with money and other areas. With love we no longer feel in isolation. Significance is more of a nice to have. Love is what I think we need the most.
These are the base layers just for day to day living. Tony Robins goes on to talk about growth and contribution.
Growth Is Progress
Growth is in essence progress. That could be going to gym and getting leaner and fitter or learning something new. Happiness can lie in the new – new levels new things and feelings. Feeling accomplished has a level of happiness to it definitely.
Growing as an individual, and having things in our life that allow us to grow – growing in a job or as a parent or partner – growth is really important.
Beyond that, at the highest level is contribution. Where we feel that actually what we are doing, is we’re giving an awful lot and we’re giving something to society, we are making a difference.
Contribution is the higher level. Contribution to something bigger than ourselves is where the magic of life happens.
I guess when people are trying to change, when they are trying to maybe get along to the gym regularly but they are kind of stressed out at home then growth becomes difficult because they just aren’t in the right head place or head space. Or because they don’t have the certainty that they require.
Tony Robbins also says that if you get something that’s got a tleast three of the the six requirements then you will have something that you are kind of addicted to that. Something that you will keep going and doing.
Take a moment and think about your own life. How much certainty do you like and want. When we are stressed out we want more certainty but when we are feeling good we want some uncertainty too.
Have you got the levels right in your life? Would your relationship benefit from a little bit of uncertainty, doing something new or doing something different together.
Making A Connection
Have you got the level of love and connection that you really need? And if not, what can you do to just get a little bit more love and connection today. Can you phone a friend, can you organise to meet up for a coffee, can it be putting your smart phone down and really listening to your partner tonight perhaps when you are having dinner. Perhaps that will give you a bit more love and connection. Might allow you to feel more like you want to feel.
Keeping It Real
Significance! Whatever that is for you; if that isn’t high up for you, have you got it and if not, what can you do to get more of it?
Then growth and contribution. What are you doing so that you get a little bit better every day, or every second day. And contribution of course.
We don’t need to be meeting all of these all of the time. But it’s useful to know that if we had a lot of these factors going on in our life and you’re focusing on these 6 key areas, you’re going to be feeling pretty good.