Lesley Anne Larsen
Anxiety coaching helps you:
- take back control of your life
- reduce or remove unpleasant feelings
- stop you overthinking
- makes your thinking more positive and solution focused
- find inner peace
- regain confidence
- work towards positive outcomes in the things that matter most to you.
What Is Anxiety?
Anxiety – “A feeling of worry, nervousness or unease about something with an uncertain outcome”.
Anxiety is a perfectly normal emotion that almost everybody at some point in their life will suffer from.
These physical, mental and emotional reactions are harmless provided they last for a relatively short amount of time or aren’t too intense. Anxiety only becomes problematic when it increases in intensity or it’s suffered for a prolonged period.
At this point anxiety can start to affect your physical as well as mental and emotional wellbeing and start to change (and not in a good way) who we are, whats we think we are capable of and how we deal with things.
The great news is it’s entirely possible to take back control and get back to thinking and behaving much more like yourself far quicker than you think.
Just before I start to outline how we eradicate or massively minimise anxiety, we need to first of all have a better understanding of how anxiety works. To do this we need to start by understanding the purpose of emotions.
Why Do We Have Emotions?
Have a think about this? Do you know the answer? We all have them (except psychopaths) however most of don’t really know what our emotions are for. Emotions are our guides. They are one way we have of navigating our way through day to day life.
Pleasant emotions are designed to move us towards things and people. Unpleasant emotions are nature’s way of getting our attention and our brain saying to us – PAY ATTENTION, this may be a problem for you.
Notice I didn’t say emotions are good or bad. I said they are pleasant and unpleasant. ALL emotions are positive in their intent – they mean well. The purpose of your emotions is to keep you alive, so when you experience an unpleasant emotion, that’s natures way of trying to tell you something potentially important to your survival and wellbeing.
Why Do We Become So Anxious?
There are 4 scenarios that play out that individually or collectively will result in us really suffering from anxiety.
1. Prolonged Exposure To Something Potentially Threatening With No Resolution
Over a prolonged period of time we put up with and ignore something(s) negative, essentially suppressing the accompanying unpleasant emotions. We often tell ourselves we’ve put that emotion in a box inside us. We only get away with this strategy for so long before these unpleasant and by this point harmful emotions start to seep into how we feel on a day to day basis.
The shift inside us is gradual but left unchecked eventually the emotions end up “screaming” at us to get our attention and say to us – “I need you to deal with this”.
When we get to this stage life is extremely unpleasant and we often find that we either don’t know how to improve things or we don’t believe we have the power to change things. This can leave us feeling helpless.
2. A Single Stressful Event
We experience an extremely powerful negative life event that hits us so hard that we are knocked out of our own orbit. This leaves us feeling like we can’t be sure of many (maybe even most) things anymore.
3. Multiple Stressful Events One After The Other
Sometimes it takes a number of events to really “do the damage”. We may manage to survive one extremely tough life event, but if you experience 2, 3 or more over a relatively short space of time then this can knock the stuffing out of us.
Most of us are not designed or well equipped to cope with multiple “emotional blows”.
4. A Combination of 1 & 2 or 1 & 3
When this happens FEAR (the emotion at the root of anxiety) is running the show and you are no longer in control of you. You don’t feel like you, you don’t think like you and you don’t even behave like you anymore.
Getting to the Root of the Problem – ONE VERY SIMPLE QUESTION
At the root of yours or anyone else’s anxiety is one very simple question that your brain is asking all the time and it’s this:
Q. CAN I PREDICT A FAVOURABLE OUTCOME?
If you think you can, then anxiety will settle down. If however you are uncertain or you don’t believe things will be OK this is when your body and mind will start to cause you all sorts of problems and what you experience as anxiety occurs.
Here’s a great video well worth your time watching for a more in depth understanding of what happens when your brain asks this question and it doesn’t get an answer it likes!