What is Life Coaching, How Does it Work and Are You Ready?
What does a coach do? And what does a client do? In this video I discuss the positive difference hiring a life coach can make however I also discuss that clients have to be ready for it!
As The Happiness Guy I deliver results through your commitment and investment, getting a deep understanding of your problem and helping you to build a strategy to tackle the challenges you face. Using a systematic approach, together we make your life better and generate more love, connection, happiness and laughter.
One of the big things I have learnt doing this job is that before I ever start working with a client, I need to find out if that person is actually ready to change. I’ll only work with a client once I’m satisfied that they are willing and able to take responsibility for making the necessary changes to bring about results that will last a lifetime.
I’m called a coach, because I coach you through it. It’s important to understand I don’t do it for you. My job is to help motivate, educate, support and inspire you, but you do the work and that’s really important. The reason it’s so important is that the process of coaching is about YOU growing in confidence and skills, not me! You don’t want to become dependant – you want to be confident that YOU can handle whatever life throws because we’ve trained you for it, and you’ve seen for yourself that you can do it!
In this video, I also talk about what can go wrong with life coaching! I’ll let you watch the video to find out more about that!
Coaching is a team effort but the ultimate responsibly has to lie with you. If you are committed then I am certain I can get you there, wherever there may be. But if you would “quite like” things to be different then there’s a fair chance coaching might not be for you at this time.
Get in touch here if you want to find out whether we’d be a great fit and discover the impact life coaching can make in your life.
Below the video is an outline transcript of what I say in case you prefer to read it.
Life Coaching And Why It Works
Hi there my name is Gordon McCrorie. This is a video about Life coaching and why it works. It’s also a video on what goes wrong when it doesn’t work!
What I want to do is talk you through the main things as a framework. I guess that’s one of the reasons why coaching works. It’s because there is a structure, there’is a framework.
The very first thing that life coaching does, when anybody comes to a coach, is they are making the thing they need to tackle a priority. A client typically comes to me and says “I’ve got this thing and it’s a problem for me” or “I’m uncomfortable in some way and I want and need to do better with it so I need to enlist your help”.
When this happens they are making it a priority. Of course as a result of making it a priority they are going to set time aside to work on it. And why does that matter, well it seems common sense that if you spend time on something then you will get better at it.
And that’s true, the more time you spend on something then the more your brain will think it is important and the more your brain will look for other opportunities to help you solve whatever difficulties you face.
So spending time on ‘the thing’ is common sense of course.
So what else?
Well when people hire a coach of any kind, there is typically some kind of investment. It’s an investment of money. So you’d be saying to yourself “this is important” and you recognise that you need to overcome this, it’s a real priority.
I don’t think you always need to invest money to solve something but I do think it is one of the reasons life coaching might get results that you don’t get otherwise. You consider it a higher priority, because you are paying money to have it resolved.
Less Difficult Than Trying On Your Own
So what does life coaching do that might be difficult to do on your own? Coaches ask lots of questions, and these questions will give you great clarity on and around the situation that you are working with.
Approaches vary depending on whether you hire a coach or a mentor. Coaches ask loads of great questions as to how to get at what is challenging you, and where you want to get to. They really dig into it so you understand it much better.
A mentor differs in that they have already achieved what you want to achieve. Mentors have a track record and formulas. Mentors help you find your blind spots and help to develop your knowledge because sometimes you can’t solve the problem if you have a piece of the puzzle missing. So a mentor will develop that knowledge and get some clarity up and running. And coaching helps with this too. I’m a coach and a mentor.
So now what? Well let’s say you have a whole load of things that you think you need to tackle to make things better. So how do you put that into one coherent strategy that is step by step? That can be hard to do on your own. You might not know where to start, which is often the case with things.
Working with a coach allows you to get a step by step plan and agree what action steps are going to be taken, and agree the timeframes for that. Then you take action. And that is the main thing about a coach: coaches get you to take action.
Reading about things on the other hand is simply learning. There’s a saying that knowledge is power but that’s often not true. Knowledge without implementation often results in more pain. Have you ever said, I know what to do, I just can’t seem to do it.
No coach is going to help you succeed in any way, shape or form unless you are taking action. Even if you can’t afford to hire a coach then you still need to take action. That never changes.
Life Gets In The Way
So you are in the game and you are taking action. So what happens next is, life gets in the way. But if you have coach then their job is to get in the way and help you push back and keep the main thing the main thing when life tries to get in the way. Coaches help you plan around the challenges life throws up. A coach will also give you a framework of support to help keep your focus on the thing for long enough to get the outcome you want.
Support is a huge part of why coaching works. Two heads (and hearts) both working together at the same thing are better than one!
Gently Does It
Another thing, one that I am not quite so sure about so I kind of do it gently is Accountability.
A lot of people feel that if they get a coach they will be more accountable. For a long time I struggled with the concept of accountability. Afterall, who wants to feel like they are getting a telling off when they haven’t done something.
However on reflection it’s external accountability I’m less of a fan of this type of accountability and the reason for this is what happens when you remove the external accountability?
However some people really do seem to benefit from having that external accountability, until they can develop their own internal accountability and that’s when change will last a lifetime. When clients raise the standards they hold themselves to.
This raising of standards and holding yourself accountable is when the game changes forever. Once you hold yourself accountable you can trust yourself, and once you can trust yourself you can even like and love yourself. And what do you think happens to confidence when you know you will follow through on things?
This is what I’m aiming for with any client, I want clients to not be accountable to me, but to hold themselves accountable to be their best version of themselves. Until they are ready for that, I’ll help them with a little external accountability!
Just Do It
Doing is where the magic happens. It’s where progress lives and confidence grows.
Once you are taking action, coaches help you make course corrections when you go off-course – let me explain.
Sometimes you might try something and it does not work. And you are busy with life and you think this will never work, then you think what’s the point and you quit!
Why Coaching Works: Summary
With coaching, you will be helped to stay on course. You will be encouraged to think about things, and if they didn’t work, ask why and try something else. And importantly we help you make the distinction, that it is not you that failed at that thing. The thing that you tried didn’t work, so let’s try something different.
These are some of the main things I think coaches can really help with. They help you make and keep the challenge a priority, which is really why it works. We get you to set time aside to invest in yourself. We’ll get you clarity on your goal and develop a strategy. We’ll help develop a framework and help you maintain focus. Coaches give you support and help you stay accountable, and help you course correct as you go.
So that’s how it works. And that’s your framework even if you don’t hire a coach!
Avoiding It Going Wrong
Let’s look at when coaching doesn’t work. Because occasionally, and this is the truth of it I don’t get a brilliant result with every single client every single time. I am working hard to always do better and understand what goes wrong and this is one of the reasons I shot this video.
I’ve been thinking about what is it that can go wrong?
Well sometimes people are not ready to take the action that they need to take. They engage too early, so I now test for that and check that they really want it. To get a life lasting result, you need to do something for long enough to get the outcome. That means it needs to become a habit. Very often, people do not understand the importance of that. But if you only do something for a short period of time and then stop doing it, you won’t get the outcome or you’ll get it and then lose it.
So you need to develop habits. That means doing it for long enough and with the right emotion. Not only do people not do things for long enough, but perhaps on a week by week basis they don’t take the time that is needed to get the work done, the work that needs to be done between sessions.
I guess that is life getting in the way again and not feeling it’s enough of a priority. This is something that gets in the way.
The last one and maybe the most important one is when people don’t get results is because they are not taking responsibility. It’s not my job as a coach to get you the result but it is my job to make sure I help YOU DO everything that is possible so you get the result. And I am there every step of the way to educate, support and inspire!
Whose Job Is It?
It’s not my job to actually get the result. I used to think it was and it put me under a lot of pressure; but if it were my job then I would be the one who grows when things go well. That is not the purpose of coaching. The purpose is that you get better. It is your responsibility. We work on it together, it’s a team thing, but it’s your responsibility to do the work.
That’s my video on life coaching, why it works and where it goes wrong. I think that coaching is a wonderful thing. It can help get us out of all sorts of situations and help us have a truly incredible life. I want that for everybody. There is no need to suffer. We should have times full of joy and laughter and love and connection.
Have a fabulous day, thank you for watching. If you need any help, I”m Gordon, The Happiness Guy, I’d love to hear from you.