One Friday afternoon I laid down the facts on how stories can keep you stuck. It can apply to anything but I use the example of loosing weight.
I’m referring to the stories we tell ourself. In the video I use the example of loosing weight, but it could be anything that is keeping you stuck. Watch the video and you’ll get an understanding of how what we tell ourselves can prevent us from getting where we want to be.
And it doesn’t matter what the thing is that you are feeling held back about. One of the primary reasons we can find ourselves stuck is because we convince ourselves we can’t become unstuck. So for a dose of reality, using loosing weight as an example, I unravel this in the video.
By reviewing the stories you tell yourself you should be able to breakthrough whatever is holding you back. It’s a simple tactic to help you reach your goals and dreams. Have a watch and let me know what you think!
If you’d like some help with a plan of action to overcome your own personal obstacles please get in touch here.
You can watch the video below, read the transcript of the video further down this page or flick over to YouTube here.
My name is Gordon McCrorie, I’m The Happiness Guy and I wanted to shoot a really quick video on something that has come up a few times recently. If you find yourself stuck, it can apply to anything, and this video I use the example of loosing eight.
Finding Yourself Stuck
At some point most of us are going to find ourselves stuck. It doesn’t matter what the thing is that we are stuck in and around. I’m going to use food and nutrition in this example. Here is one of the primary reasons we find ourselves stuck: it’s all to do with the stories we tell ourselves in and around the thing we are stuck with.
Let’s Use The Example of Loosing Weight
Here’s an example: Being stuck at a weight that is heavier than we want to be.
Lets say we are 4 kilos heavier than we want to be and we’re stuck at that weight. When we are talking about this to somebody or to ourselves, the story we are telling could go like this:
“I’m healthy most of the time, my portion sizes are good most of the time, I go to the gym three of four times a week. That should be enough to get the job done.”
This story we are telling ourself, is not helpful if it is not in fact enough to get the job done.
Are You Doing Enough?
These are just stories that are actually helping us feel better about where we are at. They might be true and they often are true; but the point is that you are not doing enough to get to where you want to get to and are not loosing weight that you want to. So sometimes we tell ourselves stories to make ourselves feel better about our efforts.
Telling these stories is like a positive reinforcement of our efforts. It’s attempting to justify why we aren’t where we want to be. The flip side is that if somebody questions us on it we end up saying “I don’t want to give up this, or I don’t want to give up that, or the next thing, why should I do those things?”
When we assume that it is going to be much harder to get where we want to be then we might justify not doing it. In the example of loosing weight we might say: “I don’t want to give up cheese on my salad because I already go to the gym and I already eat clean most of the time.”
We End Up Stuck
I am using cheese as an example as that’s a way to cut some calories! The story we are telling ourself focuses on the worst case scenario. By telling a story on how we are doing quite well, actually helps us to stay where we are. We end up stuck.
At the same time we are telling ourself a story about how hard it will be to make changes. This justifies not wanting to make the changes and we stay stuck. So the problem is two-fold, positive and negative reinforcement keeping us in place.
Just Be Happy?
That means we’re not going to go anywhere. The piece of advice is if you are 4 kilos overweight that’s okay as it’s just over half a stone. And if you are happy enough at that and you are in good shape then maybe you don’t need to change anything. And you should just be happy.
On the other hand, if you are a number of kilos overweight and you feel unhappy. If it is getting you down in some way that is really frustrating, then the stories need to change because they are just stories. Remember that by telling ourselves the right story it can motivate us to change.
You Have To Want It!
Lets say you are happy where you are, then keep going with the way that you are describing the situation to yourself. If you are not happy where you are I would encourage you to ask the question: “What stories are helping me move forward here and what stories are keeping me stuck?”
The stories that are keeping you stuck, get rid of them! Identify and get rid of them and think what stories do you need to tell yourself so that you frame it in such a way that you want to make the changes.
The issue I have described comes up quite a lot. We do tell ourself a whole load of stories that keep us exactly where we are. Or we can tell ourself stories that become responsible for pushing us forward. So decide which stories you need to tell yourself and which stories do you need to stop telling yourself to get the result you want. And you can breakthrough from feeling stuck.
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